Not the norm..

This isn't my usual blog. It's a bummer so be warned.

When my ex-husband and I were dating, my future mom in law was not fond of me. The feeling was mutual. We argued, we made threats to each other, we generally put my ex directly in the middle of our extreme dislike. Throughout the divorce, we both made sure to place blame on each other for the destruction of the marriage.

 Jan and I slowly found a way to get along. When she realized that I was not taking my girls away from their family, and was not going to turn them against their dad or the rest of them.. we started to build a friendship.

I can say now that I love this woman. She is special and I take strength from the relationship we have found.

This afternoon the entire family has been dealt a devastating blow. Jan has cancer. It is bad. Chances are very strong that we will not have this wonderful woman with us for much longer.

 How do I tell her how much she means to me? I will tell her, through tears and with shaking voice, that I am proud to have known her.. she has been an adversary and a friend, and I do not want her to go. She needs to be here for the latest grandchild's wedding, for the next great-grandchild, for her own children and for her husband who may fall apart without her.

 Jan is the glue that holds the entire dysfunctional family together.. and they are going to implode. I am not part of the family anymore..there are members that despise me and members I truly hate.. but she is still important to me.

I am thankful to know her.. and have hope that she, in her stubborn way, will be here for me to tell these things to.. but not for many years.