Sunday, May 11, 2014

ManicPixieDreamGirl.. and how to maybe survive being her friend..

This blog is probably going to cause some serious shit, and I'm sorry. Just know that I love you still, and maybe once you are done being mad.. you can see that.

I am (was) friends with a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. You know those girls.. just picture every part ever played by big eyed Zooey Dechanel.. the kooky, cutesy, pseudo mystical, awkward, adorable dress twirler that makes men melt into people puddles. I didn't realize she was a MPDG for a long time, mostly because I didn't want to, the MPDG goes against everything I believe in, everything I stand for, everything I want. 

This type of girl (I can not call them women, they are far too little girly to be women) is manufactured to be a man's dream of the perfect woman, she is a sexually active adult wrapped up in a 5 yr olds attitude, with every thought and action directed to be pleasing to men. Everything the MPDG does is adorable, from the way she sneezes to shocking people with her potty mouth, she is the picture of flat out cute. 

Some don't realize what their persona conveys, they firmly believe (like my friend) that she is just being her quirky self, giggling over butterflies and exerting their belief in magic while playing video games all day in their cute jammies. These girls are clueless as to why any being with a penis flocks to her, shocked and befuddled when they get hit on every time they leave the house! They maintain that they just don't get it, but they absolutely revel in the attention, glowing with every turn down, and making little mu faces to their female friends because gosh.. I can't do anything without men wanting me. 

My friend is forever getting hit on, regardless of where we are, she got hit on at the zoo for fucks sake. It was an issue for me, not understanding, and her attitude really only made it worse. When I expressed frustration over being invisible when she was around, she stated that from then on she would make a serious effort to not look cute or anything when we went out (because I was obviously a troll and she had to work to be ugly and not get hit on) 

The MPDG is all about being wanted by as many men as possible, even the ones she doesn't want, because men wanting her makes her feel special. These are girls who must be wanted, must be seen as the muse, the object of desire, the utmost in rainbow glitter farting unicorn in a field of daisy fairies specialness.. or else they don't feel important at all. Everything is about them, even when it isn't. 

Last summer, I went through a dating assholes phase. At one point, my friend told me that she was just going to pretend to be mad at me so she didn't have to hear about it anymore, then wanted to know why I wasn't talking to her about stuff.  At the end of the summer, when I actually got my heart broken, she called me. Not to console or offer a shoulder to cry on, but to find out if I was mad at her because she encouraged me to open my heart and let people in. I was stunned. 

Manic Pixie Dream Girls don't really mean to be so self involved, they simply can't feel special if someone else is in the spotlight. Everything ultimately must be about them, because they survive on the attention of everyone else. MPDG's will create drama in order to gain attention, even when they are loudly claiming that they don't want any attention at all. There is never a down time with them, either you make them feel special and cherished, or they are going to push it till you do. The MPDG is a pro at passive aggressive behavior with their female peers, because they won't cause a scene in which they may be seen as anything other than the perfectly sweet victim of some other woman's jealousy.   

The good news is, most girls outgrow their Manic Pixie Dream Girl personality, blossoming into real and wonderful women. Why did I say real? I think that MPDG is a lot like Pinocchio, a hollow imitation of people, pretending to be something that they are not yet capable of being. I want to be around when my friend grows out of hers, I want to see her be the woman I KNOW is inside just waiting to be let out. She is surrounded by strong, brave, outspoken women.. and I believe (maybe naively) that she wants to be a real woman someday.

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