Pirates, Rock Stars, and the Clowns they play with..

I <3 Halloween.. more than Christmas, more than my birthday, more than any holiday ever. This year, with Halloween falling on Monday, there were multiple occasions to dress up throughout the weekend.. with the best reason falling on Saturday night. Going out to the club to hear my favorite local band, in costume, makes me happier than a bird with a french fry! Usually.

This year did not live up to my expectations, not even a little. The band was awesome, the club was packed, my friends were fabulous, and the weather was decent enough to warrant my tiny costume. So.. what's the problem? A pirate flinging mixed signals and a rock star with boundary issues would be the fly in my fantastic Halloween ointment.

Said pirate is a pro at the mixed signal game, flirty and hands-y and naughty.. then runs off like a puppy that piddled on the carpet the instant I show signs of reciprocating. Really? If I'm not your type, I'm totally ok being your friend cuteness.. but friends don't usually make motor boating references (unless you are Mo.. then all bets are off!) or behave in ways that say "I wanna have nasty dirty monkey sex with you until the sun comes up" I don't look like, or act like, the giggly little tramps that fawn all over you.. and maybe that's the problem. We can only hope that your penis is as big as your ego adorable one :)

Aforementioned rock star is also guilty of toying with my tingly parts.. ummmm.. not that way you perverts! Using a pretty little clown to satisfy your duplicitous needs is un-called for.. even if that clown loved every second of it. I know, and you know, that the behavior shown that night was due to some pent up desires, but it was still a bad idea and won't happen ever again. You are who you are, with everything that goes with that, and some tonsil hockey won't make it go away. In fact, it will just get me in trouble.. and not the fun kind of trouble either! So hands (lips and tongue too) off buddy boy!

I am curious.. why do these two men feel the desire to yank me around? I may have been a safe flirt when I was in a relationship.. but I am single now, and have no intentions of being some ego boosting "friend" for men I would rather just fuck. If we dance like that, touch like that, talk like that.. there had better be a happy ending to my night. Sure.. you are talented, and adorable, and manly.. now take off your pants or behave yourself. We can be friends, and you can act like a friend.. or we can have benefits and you can act like you wanna see me nekked.. choose one.

That got a little rant-y didn't it :)

Long story short.. if I can't have you, don't act like I can.. there are plenty of girls out there that will be happy to stroke your egos and expect nothing in return but a minute of your attention and maybe a picture to commemorate the event.. I am not that girl.