As I was thinking about this blog, I realized that although I have several topics in the works, I haven't actually posted anything in a few months. Where does the time go? Ah well.
Today being Valentine's Day, I have noticed the huge number of single people out there over 30 (many of us pushing 40 if we are gonna be honest). It wasn't always like this people. I remember growing up with a single parent, thinking our little family was so different from my friends families. Even my best friend's gay mom had a life partner. My mom was the only grown up I knew that went on dates, went to the gym, and wore stiletto heels. Every other adult I had any contact with was married, most of them since their early 20s.
I didn't want to be a single anything, so I got married and had a baby. That's all I wanted to do. Then, I got divorced and have been more single than not ever since. I did try though, I tried to be a couple, tried to be the little suzy housewife I saw all around me as a child. I didn't want my kids to grow up without two parents. Single life, to me, was not "normal".
We all paired up, but so many of us are walking the single path today. Out of the 100+ people I know, roughly 75 are single right this second.
Maybe divorce was too easy, or we got married for the wrong reasons. Maybe we just make BAD choices in who we chose to marry. It's a proven statistical fact that there are more single people today over the age of 35 than there have ever been. EVER!
We are single. Why? My mom was single because she preferred to be. My dad died and the two other love affairs she had ended badly, so she stayed out of relationships. She raised my brother and I, and that was that. Mom dated, and had an active social life, but there was no man in her life for any length of time. That was then.
Today the biggest hurdle we face as single adults is unrealistic expectations about the person we want to share our lives. Men want (insert name of 20 yr old famous girl here) with boobies. Women want (insert name 40 yr old famous guy here) but ten years younger.We are single because we have become so focused on the superficial that we don't take the time to find the substance. Everyone wants someone young, rich, and hot. No 21yr old heiress/heir is gonna show up at Antique's or Gasoline Alley and beg you to whisk them away in your 2008 Honda to your two bedroom apartment off Powers.They aren't going to offer to take you in their concept model sports car to their condo in Aspen either, it doesn't work that way.
I don't really enjoy being single. I don't want to get married, or even live with someone, but I am good at relationships and I miss that connection with another adult. Ok.. I miss sex too. I really miss sex. My point is, I prefer to be a part of a couple, I am happiest that way. The men in my age range however, are looking for my daughter (she is 20) not for me, and I just don't think I could be a successful cougar.
Until we all start looking for that someone who really exists, the guy or girl that will happily do laundry with you or bring you soup when you are sick, we are doomed to remain single. Let's face it, no one really wants to be alone when they are 80.
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